Journal entries:
1/13/98
Well here I am. I was ordained as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints tonight by Pres. Randy Wilkinson. My family was there to support me: Grandma and Grandpa Hafen, Grandma Talbot, Aunt Michelle, Mitch, Taylor, Uncle Craig, Aunt Marcia, Nick, Curtis Rogers, Adam Mathews, Jaren Scott. Pres. Wilkinson gave me a great blessing. Promising me to obey the mission rules, and I would be protected, when I get homesick to work harder, that I would be a great help to my Mission Pres. , and that there was people waiting for me in Cambodia. He also left a blessing on my family, and that we would have a safe trip to the MTC.
Today has been a hard day as I have had to pack up my room, say good-by to family and good friends, and deal with the feelings of uncertainty, excitement, fear of the unknown, and all of the mixed emotions that come as I enter the MTC.
I cried hard as I hugged Mitch, and Taylor. I love both of these future missionaries so much! It was especially hard with Mitch as he will leave before I return. I really love my family and good friends. I am going to miss them all very much. I am well supported and loved by them I hope to take their strength with me. I am excited yet scared as I leave now on my mission. I want so badly to be a good missionary. I want to be totally obedient. I want to have the spirit as my constant companion, and I want to be a wise and profitable servant of my Heavenly Father.
1/18/98
Today is my first Sunday here at the MTC. I have really enjoyed the nice day outside and looking at the mountains. I was pretty tired and kind of feeling down after the long days we have had going to classes and everything since Wed. However I realized I am being selfish and that I can do better than I am doing. I want to be a good missionary. A missionary who is in tune with the Spirit and can be used as an instrument in God’s hands. I need to do quite a few things to get to that point but here is my list right now.
1) Be humble and teachable.
2) Work Harder
3) Look only at the good in others and love him.
4) Make study productive and often.
5) Work on my testimony.
I have decided that I need to have a better attitude about things. I also need to have more faith. My companion is setting a good example for me and I am helping him out with the language. We are a good match.
1/19/98
Today we attended normal class and then had an hour and ½ to wash our clothes. Elder Hoare and I teamed up and got everything washed and ironed. I used Mom’s ironing 101 instructions and got my shirt’s ironed and tried to help Elder Hoare with his.
We were kind of tired today as the fire alarm went off at about 11:30 p.m. last night. I think someone pulled it. and we had to sit outside in the cold until the building was checked out. Then we went back up and tried to go to sleep.
I really enjoyed our Book of Mormon share again tonight. The Spirit was really strong tonight. Elder Hoare started us off expressing his feelings of inadequacy and that he was struggling. He read Heleman 5:12 and was pretty emotional. We were all trying to think of something that would help comfort or encourage us. I thought of the scripture that I read this morning as I was having kind of a bad attitude. It was perfect for the situation and the Spirit was really strong as I read, I too became a little emotional. Alma 31:31-32. I really like this scripture and love the Book of Alma because of all the good missionary scriptures it contains.
2/5/98
Today was another good day. I feel pretty good about the language. I really can say quite a bit. I know I have a long way to go before I am able to hold my own in Srok Khmae, but I am learning.
I really felt good today as I talked about everything the Holy Ghost can testify about. I was talking to Elder Williams and I just about cried. It was neat. I have really tried to have a good attitude this week as I learn. Trying to be happy, excited, and paying attention no matter how I feel.
I went to the gym today and played some rough ball. First and Elder tried to sink his teeth into the side of my forehead as I dribbled past. Next I look down and my left hand is bloody from a cut on my pinkie finger. I think someone was wearing a ring. It was fun and I hit a game winning jumper.
2/6/98
I had a good thought today that I wanted to share. I was reading in 3 Nephi 9-11 and had this thought. I thought about how much I love my good parents and what a great day it will be to come home after successfully completing a mission . It will be really special.
Then I compared this to Jesus Christ and his mission. Coming here to Earth. Setting the example and paying the price of sin for all mankind. How hard it must have been for both Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, but what a great event it was when Heavenly Father and others welcomed back Jesus Christ after he successfully completed his mission.
I know that my experiences are not quite the magnitude of Christ’s but thinking about it that way helps me better understand the sacrifice it was.
2/7/98
A busy P-day. The highlight was spraying down the bathrooms and scrubbing them with scrub brushes on rake handles. It was really fun.
Tonight we taught the first discussion. Elder Hoare knows the gospel and leads the way in discussions. He is great and has a strong testimony. He is a good example to me.
When teaching these discussions I realize that I need to increase my testimony, and make sure that I am learning about the gospel as I learn this language.
I ‘m trying to be humble and to be more Christlike. “ A humble man has confidence in his ability but does not always think about himself.” I do have confidence in my abilities but I also compare myself to others and think about myself too much.
I know that it is very important for me to be on this mission. I’m thankful for this opportunity to work on my faith and testimony, and become a good servant of the Lord. It is work.
2/8/98
I just came from a great lesson on pride. It was our Sunday night gospel speaker. He talked about how pride was the universal sin of the world, and as he talked I could certainly recognize areas in my life where I needed to get rid of pride. He talked about how Jesus Christ was the exact opposite of pride. He showed the example of perfect humility.
Many times I show pride when I compare myself to others and worry about what the world thinks and not what God’s will is. “ Pride is easy to see in others and not in ourselves. “
There is so much that I need to work on as I evaluate my self at the end of the day. I’m trying to work hard and develop better Christlike qualities and be a better missionary.
I also enjoyed the talk about prayer. He talked about how to truly communicate with God and I need to work on this too. Two years will be good to improve in these areas. “What you sincerely in your heart think of Christ will determine what you are, will largely determine what your acts will be”